Seen it.  Got the T-Shirt!

Seen it. Got the T-Shirt!

'Canterbury is a major tourist centre in the county of Kent. Even though it was bombed relentlessly during the Second World War (the Blitz), it still contains many ancient buildings, and modern building development within the medieval town centre is strictly regulated by officials at Canterbury. It Is Located Near The Wye Downs, Chartham, Chillam and Ashford In Kent, home to the Eurostar and The Well Known Doctor, William Harvey, Who Invented Blood Circulation

As a result of the murder of Thomas Becket in 1170, Canterbury became a major centre of pilgrimage, the backdrop of Geoffrey Chaucer's Canterbury Tales, written in 1387, about pilgrims passing the time by sharing stories. There is a museum in Canterbury about the Tales.

Canterbury was founded as the Romano-Celtic town of Durovernum Cantiacorum. In the early Middle Ages, the city became known by the Anglo-Saxon name of Cantwarebyrig, meaning "fortress of the men of Kent"'

 

This is a wiki entry about the town… um, city (we got one of them big churches) that I now think of as my home.  Ok, technically I don't live there.  But that is only cos I can't afford the house prices.  I actually live in Whitstable, a few miles from Canterville.  But my social life is there and has been for quite a while, so it is my home (and I did actually live there for almost half my life).

But it is a load of bollocks!  (Not the 'my home' bit, the Wiki post).  It is not completely factually incorrect.  But not far from it.

Relentlessly bombed?  Um… not so much.  The Luftwaffe were pretty much aiming for London (in this part of the country).  But as going home with any payload was a dodgy plan (landing with a cargo of high explosives was more risky than landing without one), they dumped them on the way back.  And if your gonna dump them, do it somewhere that is gonna be better than in the water between the continents.  The towns in the east of Kent did get the fuck bombed out of them.  And I'm not suggesting that they were not the targets of some of the bombing runs.  But according to documents, quite a lot of the bombs dropped on the East of Kent were more opportunistic unloading on the way home…  Next.

Yes, the modern building development is strictly regulated by the officials of Canterbury.  But maintaining an idium that works with the historical nature of the town?  I would suggest you look at the new 'Marlowe Theatre', named after Philip Marlowe.  The fictional detective from Raymond Chandlers novels.  (Or maybe Christopher Marlowe, The 16th century playwrite born in Canterbury.  Yeah, it's probably that one).  This probably a bit of an issue that I (and others) have with Canterbury City Council.  If you have the funds to pay, then you can do what the fuck you like.  But without the 'bung', no matter how in keeping with the historical nature of the environment…

Whoever it is named after, it is a huge aluminium box that is a blight upon the 'rustic' nature of the surrounding structures.  And I'm not even going to get into the new development at the top end of town (although, at least some respect to the existing architecture seems to have taken place there).

So, where was I?

Oh yeah!  Ripping the shit out of a fucked up Wiki!!!  Always fun!

If you are looking for a good drinking game, and there is nothing worthwhile on TV (and you are, like me, a bit sad), trawl the Wiki's and have a shot for every uncalled for capital letter.  This one?  You'll be pissed before you get to laugh at the author as much as I did (more booze is on my shopping list).

And then you also get to embrace the joy of the fact that Dr William Harvey 'invented' blood circulation.  It does rather raise the question of how any mammals (never mind all the non-mammals with hearts) managed to survive til he came up with this cunning idea.

This is even before you consider the fact that he didn't come from Canterbury.  He didn't even come from Ashford (about half an hours drive away.  Incidentally, that is also where the International Station is, where the Eurostar train stops – not lives).  You think that someone from Ashford may have written some of it?

Oh, and the pilgrimage thing was not cos Thomas Beckett got stabbed there.  It was a fairly big centre for the Christian faith in England before he got involved.  Don't believe me?  Well, they did build quite a big church there around 5 centuries before he was born.  Y'know, the one that was important enough for it to be noticed that he was stabbed in?  Oh, and it was a kinda stopping off point for a bit of a pray before heading off on the crusade to the Holy Lands (a couple of hundred years before Mr B).

As a friend of mine, who has emigrated to the States, likes to say…  'I come from England.  You know, where the history comes from.'

I'm also kinda proud of tholygrailhe heritage of my nation, whether my ancestors were directly involved with it or (as I suspect) were simply harvesting some lovely filth at the time (but were not called Dennis, I've done my genealogy).  So I do get a bit picky when arsehats type shit without knowing what the fuck they are talking about.

So why don't I go and fix it?

 

Well, two reasons really.  Firstly, I find it WAY funnier to point and laugh when someone else is being a right pillock.  No, seriously.  WAAAAYYYY funnier.  Shit… Even funnier than that!

But more importantly…  How can I be sure that what I believe is any more correct than their beliefs? 

Ok, for some of the shit in this example… actually, more than just 'some'…  I am reasonably content that, while I may not be competely historically accurate…  I'm a hell of a lot closer than they are!

But for a lot of it, I am taking someone elses word for it.  I wasn't there.  And Ok, I have looked around and read/listened to many peoples words that support my belief…  But I wasn't there.  I cannot state it as fact.  Only as what I believe is fact.  And ok, I may have done a little more research than the twatbadger that believes that Bill Harvey is responsible for blood actually flowing.  [William Harvey was ‘the first to describe completely and in detail the systemic circulation and properties of blood being pumped to the brain and body by the heart, though earlier writers had provided precursors of the theory’… And was actually not even born in or associated (to my knowledge) with Ashford, the location of the William Harvey Hospital.  He was born if Folkestone.  15 miles from Ashford, and more than twice that from Canterbury].  But does that mean that I am any more right than others that have read a few books?

Or is history simply an interpretation of the opinions of those before us, that blogged.

Oh shit!

(Incidentally, the last paragraph of the Wiki is spot on.  Whether you are a 'man of Kent', or a 'Kentish man' depends on which side of the Medway… the river that splits Kent… you are born.  The Canterbury… east… side is the 'man of…' side.  If you are at all bothered, I was born one and now live the other.  Don't tell anyone, I might get beaten up.

I say 'spot on'…  Of course, this is only what I have read)

Oh, and if you are wondering how the title relates to the content?  Yeah, I know.  Tenuous at best.  But I have seen so many arsehats waxing lyrical about how wise they are on their chosen subject, all the while knowing that they are talking complete shite…