I Don’t Believe: Karma

I Don’t Believe: Karma

Karma FrogOnly the good die young. Crime doesn’t pay. You reap what you sow. Good things happen to good people.

I believe all of these things (which is a little depressing… cos that means that most old people are bad).

I have been a contributor to WBOM since it began. I am proud to be so. I am invested and passionate about all of us providing entertaining, intellectual and quality BLOGs for the enjoyment of everyone who accidentally stumbles across our path.

But I feel that this is the first time that a monthly subject… um… topic… er… What do we call it? Ok, I confess. I’m easily confused. And I rarely actually check what I’m supposed to be talking about. Generally I just type shit and then try and crowbar in some kind of connection. (People who repeatedly accidentally stumble across us will know that, on my part… I’m not great at this).  Anyway…  I think it is bad.

But this time I am prepared. I am organised. I am seriously late in getting this post up. But most importantly, I feel that this month’s theme is both negative and the opposite of un-negative (I mentioned that I was late, right. If I wasn’t I would have waded through online Thesauruses… um… Thesauri… and sparkled more in that latter part of the previous sentence).

The point that I am staggering around is that it is easy to ‘not believe’. There so many things to not believe in…

The Boogey Man, honest politicians, God, #SPOILER# Santa, the love of a good man, the love of a good woman, the existence of a good man/woman (yes, I am an equal opportunities cynical sceptic), that smoking will not only make you live longer, but will also make you attractive to women.

There are many, many more. But listing them all would only belabour the point I am arguing against.

There are very few that we are told to believe in…

We actually do have enough of a chance to win the lottery that it is worth is paying our hard earned cash to take part… And, um… Orange is the new black? I already told you that I’m up against it on time. The deadline went days ago!

But seriously, I got nothing more on this side.

OOH! Hang on. Wine makes you live longer! Who could not believe the French? Of course they are not using unsupportable statistics to cover up a national drinking problem, sustain one of their major exports and incidentally justify my love of the grapey joy juice.

My arguments may be weak, but my idiom is ironclad. It is way easier to not believe than it is to believe. Put the effort in. It’s worth it. You may well be wrong more often than your not. But if you sincerely believe, then you will have the smug satisfaction that you are both happy and right… and empirical proof cannot dent your joy.

So I say YAY to unicorns, YAY to love at first sight, YAY to the belief that my dog will stop chewing my socks, YAY to the belief that if you hug kittens and homeless people that you will come back in your next life as the sweetest, juiciest pumpkin EVER!

[Note 1 : Creationists… Give it up. I’m talking about belief. Not complete fantasy]

[Note 2 : Thank you for overlooking my use of the word ‘idiom’ where I really shouldn’t. You may claim that you didn’t… But I BELIEVE that you did!]

[Note 3 : What do you mean I mixed up Karma and Reincarnation??!! And who wouldn’t want to come back as one of the tastiest pumpkins ever!!! I believe that I got it right! And if I didn’t, the title would make absolutely no sense. So I must have got it right.]

[Note 4 : Most of the world may think you’re a complete and total cock, Justin. But I think I just proved that I’ll pretty much belibe anything.]

Karma Bieber

Theme: I Don’t Believe

Theme: I Don’t Believe

It would be easy for me to list the plethora of elements in this world that I do not believe in. That sentence saddens me. It saddens me because it makes sense to me. So much around us is man-made and requires some measure of belief in order to serve a purpose. Religion is the obvious example of this, but I will avoid this particular topic, as religion and beliefs in and of themselves tend to bring out the very worst in people – the worst in mankind. I do not believe in religion – nor the religious.

This is neither here nor there. What I want to talk about is a few quirky disbeliefs of mine. I don’t believe that…

  • the ‘Lord of the Rings’ trilogy was well-written. Quite the opposite, I found it terribly hard and ludicrously laborious to read,
  • Batman is a character worthy of any attention. Nor his companions. Nor anything around him. He and his universe just do not appeal to me in the slightest,
  • the cake was a lie. It was there if you stayed past the end credits,
  • any aliens have ever been close enough to observe humanity. If any superior race had noticed us, our industrious nature, our ambition and hunger for power, we would have been wiped out immediately,
  • the Olympics should be for professional athletes. I would rather see it return to its ancient roots featuring nothing but amateurs and ordinary people,
  • the Game of Thrones TV series is any good. It is rubbish if you ask me. The books are amazing, though,
  • OJ was innocent,
  • the epilogue of “The Deathly Hallows” should have been written. However, I do understand the purpose of it, yet, it still made me want to heave,
  • homeopathy is anything but a shameless sham,
  • astrology is any better, but it is easier to make a buck off of telling people what they want to hear than telling people they are garbage,
  • sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never harm me. Words stick with you. And words can haunt you forever – especially a truth,
  • the Phantom Menace was that bad, but a few things rubbed me the wrong way,
  • the Return of the Jedi was any good, at all,
  • virtual reality is the future,
  • social media – in particular, Twitter – was ever meant to bring people together. Quite to the contrary, they seem designed for commercialised hate-mongering,
  • people should be persecuted if they sodomise anyone using a selfie-stick in public for its intended purpose.

Seriously, the selfie-culture needs to sod off. I have no patience for it. “Here I am posing in front of Michelangelo’s ‘David’,” they would say presenting their selfie. Great vacation photography with some random plebs face obscuring the sight of a masterpiece. Not only a massive waste of time, but also a massive loss of genuinely interesting material – lost to a pleb face in a self-centered ploy for attention. I imagine these people will be massively disappointed when scientists determine the center of the universe and found out that is not the selfie-enthusiasts.

I Don’t Believe: Just adopt…

I Don’t Believe: Just adopt…

Have you ever seen this on your facebook wall? Probably not, but if you are one of those unfortunate souls who is infertile, or for some reason cannot conceive naturally, you will recognize this. Well-meant advice but I wonder if these well-meant comments come from people with big bank accounts or with no clue. I somehow suspect it will be the latter.

Adoption and why you should really think twice before telling someone to “Just adopt”. That is what I will be writing about this month, a month with as theme “I don’t believe”.

Apart from the gruelling psychological testing and the scrutiny about the finish of your house, the amount of time you spend in work and how financially stable you are, there also is a big financial aspect.

Let me quote from www.internationaladoptionguide.co.uk:

“The major costs are outlined below:

The Home Study is now costing between £4000 – £9000 depending which adoption agencies you use for your assessment

The Department of Education charges £1775  for your Certificate of Eligiblity.

Facilitation in your country of adoption from £1000 – £10000 depending where you adopt from

Sundry fees for translations/court fees etc in the region of £2000.

The visa to bring your child home in the region of £1000.

These figures do not include travel and accommodation and other expenses. “

So at the lowest end of the estimate it is just under £10000. Now I don’t know about you but for me that is a hell of a lot of money. It basically drew a line over my dreams of adopting. There is  no way we can afford this when we hardly make ends meet most months and often need help from my parents just to pay all our bills.

Luckily the site has some more advice:

“When you are calculating the cost of your adoption, please bear in mind that what may feel expensive now, will soon be forgotten, and the financial aspect should not deter you from adopting. There are many ways to raise money and your friends and family, church and wider community will support you on your journey. And not all monies will be payable at the same time so you will be able to spread the costs. And little adjustments can be made in your daily budget, just not buying a coffee in the morning will save you over £40 a month – enough to buy you support and guidance with our retainer Guide Service, or a day support in-country.”

I am so glad that they told me that not buying a coffee in the morning will save money. Newsflash: I don’t buy coffee in the morning, I don’t buy coffee full stop. Not because I don’t like coffee but because we can afford that kind of luxuries. Last time I ate at a restaurant was months ago and if it wasn’t a class reunion I would not have been in a restaurant then either. Just for once I would like to show people how we are careful with our money. We don’t go out, I haven’t seen the inside of a hairdresser’s in over a year, my clothes are hand me downs, all my bathroom products are from the shops own budget brand and we eat vegetables from my dad’s garden so we don’t need to spend that money in the shops either. I am an Android developer with an ancient budget friendly phone and my boyfriend has my old hand me down which now has a broken screen.

I know there is always room for more savings, we could get rid of our tv subscription, be vegetarian, stop going on visits to family abroad but really what is left then.

I don’t believe anymore, I don’t believe I will ever be a mother and I don’t believe anyone will ever realize how much we stretch to make ends meet.

Ferly the I Don’t Believe

Ferly the I Don’t Believe

My disbelief in so many things is so broad and so long that it can be seen from space!

I don’t believe in fairy tales, superstitions or old wive’s tales, because if you do your nose will grow, you’ll have bad luck and you’ll get warts on the palms of your hand!

I don’t believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy or the Boogyman (unless we’re talking KC). Yet, I still get gifts, candy, money under my pillow and scary things under my bed!

What I believe and what I don’t believe seems to have little bearing on what is and what isn’t.

Oh and those scary things under my bed? They are called dust bunnies, they are second cousin to the Easter Bunny. They are pissed because they have no special day of the year just for them so they wreak vengeance by forming a barrier around all the stuff that finds it’s way under your bed and keeping you from getting to it without them attacking you and getting in your hair!

And what is “talking KC”? If you don’t know who/what KC is a reference to then you don’t deserve to know!

But seriously, who reads this crap anway? I mean this crap that I write… I don’t believe anyone does!