Its the time of year to thrill and amuse!

Its the time of year to thrill and amuse!

Games! Board Games! Video Games! Keeping kids and adults enthralled in story and play. For centuries people have all been keeping themselves amused with games. Over the years there was  a sinus wave of popularity when a great game came out but also classics keep on existing. To the arsenal of board games also video games were added. A new frontier in game play, immersive, vivid and so much fun.

Whether its luck or strategy, we all look for something in a new game.

But have you ever had an idea for a board game or video game? I know I did, as a kid I created alternative ways to play Monopoly and created new rules for existing games. A bit older I even created my own paper game, a bit like a game of the goose. When I started studying Applied Informatics my programming languages gave me a whole new toolbox in creating fun little puzzle games. But further than some tries I never got until now… Now I might actually contribute to a game that sounds AMAZEBALLS!

We are all feeling the run up to Halloween, pumpkins are appearing left, right and centre and scary movies are the talk of the town.  So in my search of a good list of movies for a Halloween Evening Get together I found an opportunity! A chance to be part of gaming history, and charitable as I am I wanted to share it with you guys.

Now imagine a multi-player game with a horror theme. You might say not hard there is a plethora of them out there already…

But this one has 1 player as Jason Vonhees, yes yes Friday the 13th Jason with the hockey mask, the terror of my teens, the scare of Hollywood scary movie classics and the other seven players try to survive an evening at Camp Crystal Lake. This game could become reality with some help from the game playing fans.

Friday the 13th
Oh Jason…

But how? You probably all heard of the phenomenon KickStarter, there has been good and bad reporting on it but overall my opinion is that this platform has given many good ideas a way to get to market without one person bankrupting themselves on a shot.

If you think, ‘I need this in my life!’, check out this link.

We are living in amazing times, that allow us to get things created even without the help of giant publishers.  Lets all cherish this and enjoy all them games not only the classics but also the tiny game producers.

You might not have the ambition to be a game creator, but if you are into a gaming experience I would really want to push you to go and look for the little independent games. There are many gems out there.

This is it for me this month, keep your eyes and ears open and to end with a quote from Friday the 13th:

“You kids keep your noses clean, you understand? You’ll be hearing from me if you don’t. We ain’t gonna stand for any weirdness out here.” — Officer Dorf

I Don’t Believe: Just adopt…

I Don’t Believe: Just adopt…

Have you ever seen this on your facebook wall? Probably not, but if you are one of those unfortunate souls who is infertile, or for some reason cannot conceive naturally, you will recognize this. Well-meant advice but I wonder if these well-meant comments come from people with big bank accounts or with no clue. I somehow suspect it will be the latter.

Adoption and why you should really think twice before telling someone to “Just adopt”. That is what I will be writing about this month, a month with as theme “I don’t believe”.

Apart from the gruelling psychological testing and the scrutiny about the finish of your house, the amount of time you spend in work and how financially stable you are, there also is a big financial aspect.

Let me quote from www.internationaladoptionguide.co.uk:

“The major costs are outlined below:

The Home Study is now costing between £4000 – £9000 depending which adoption agencies you use for your assessment

The Department of Education charges £1775  for your Certificate of Eligiblity.

Facilitation in your country of adoption from £1000 – £10000 depending where you adopt from

Sundry fees for translations/court fees etc in the region of £2000.

The visa to bring your child home in the region of £1000.

These figures do not include travel and accommodation and other expenses. “

So at the lowest end of the estimate it is just under £10000. Now I don’t know about you but for me that is a hell of a lot of money. It basically drew a line over my dreams of adopting. There is  no way we can afford this when we hardly make ends meet most months and often need help from my parents just to pay all our bills.

Luckily the site has some more advice:

“When you are calculating the cost of your adoption, please bear in mind that what may feel expensive now, will soon be forgotten, and the financial aspect should not deter you from adopting. There are many ways to raise money and your friends and family, church and wider community will support you on your journey. And not all monies will be payable at the same time so you will be able to spread the costs. And little adjustments can be made in your daily budget, just not buying a coffee in the morning will save you over £40 a month – enough to buy you support and guidance with our retainer Guide Service, or a day support in-country.”

I am so glad that they told me that not buying a coffee in the morning will save money. Newsflash: I don’t buy coffee in the morning, I don’t buy coffee full stop. Not because I don’t like coffee but because we can afford that kind of luxuries. Last time I ate at a restaurant was months ago and if it wasn’t a class reunion I would not have been in a restaurant then either. Just for once I would like to show people how we are careful with our money. We don’t go out, I haven’t seen the inside of a hairdresser’s in over a year, my clothes are hand me downs, all my bathroom products are from the shops own budget brand and we eat vegetables from my dad’s garden so we don’t need to spend that money in the shops either. I am an Android developer with an ancient budget friendly phone and my boyfriend has my old hand me down which now has a broken screen.

I know there is always room for more savings, we could get rid of our tv subscription, be vegetarian, stop going on visits to family abroad but really what is left then.

I don’t believe anymore, I don’t believe I will ever be a mother and I don’t believe anyone will ever realize how much we stretch to make ends meet.

My Name is Alice Johnston, This is a Day in My Life: A day in the life of Alice

My Name is Alice Johnston, This is a Day in My Life: A day in the life of Alice

This theme was a riddle to me until it hit me, music is the answer. Let’s if you can find the musical reference in the following short story.

The sun rises in the east, yet everything else around me has changed. Just yesterday I was living in the same old place that I was in for 24 years.  I grew up on that little street with all the same houses linked together by garages and drives full of junk.

For 24 years I ran in and out that door on number 75, getting the mail, putting out the bins, living a mundane life in a mundane part of the world. Like a paradise bird stuck in a pine wood, out of place like a bow tie on a bull.

I had friends and family but no one knew me, I was a mystery to most even to my best friend Sally.

So when the chance offered itself and I got a way out, a life in grandeur and riches I took it. I stepped into my new husbands limousine and drove in the sunset in the West. Leaving behind me the place I grew up in.

Where I played in the park, carved the initials of me and the boy next door deep in the bark. A silly pipe dream of happiness with the boy next door, but when the time came for 24 years he never asked me to leave. He never took the time to find out who I really am.

I had been waiting 24 years for someone to ask me, find out who I really was.

All he did was ask everyone but me.
Now he’ll never get used to not living next door to Alice…
Now all he will just shout to the heavens is ‘Who the f* is Alice?’

Last month silence was my only option

Last month silence was my only option

I am a blogger from the heart and from the soul, when both get to travel from hopeful to shattered one too many time my pen halts. My mind tells me don’t get your hopes up but it is my personality to keep on dreaming, hoping and believing.

In this post I would like to share an artwork that was made for me by my rock, my love and hearts desire.

 

Nutmeg water colour by Rowland Pink
Nutmeg water colour by Rowland Pink

Almost a year ago we got the news that the waiting lists for Belgian adoption were closed, I cried and I despaired, I scolded and screamed but most of all I lost all happiness. I just felt cheated by the world. My boyfriend who was at the end of his ideas came up with the best one ever, he gave me a little creature to take care of love, her name is Nutmeg. People called us crazy for having 4 cats but that little being lifted my heart. She needed me, she needed me as much as I needed her. To this day she is the apple of my eye, and yes I treat her like my baby and probably annoy people with too many pictures on facebook, too many stories on the sofa, too many instagram messages and too many silly voices when I talk to her.

Now a month ago I started another treatment for my Endometriosis. To cheer me on Rowland made a watercolour of our little Meg. I wanted to share it with you and hope it will bring you a smile, like it does me every time I see it.

Unrequited Love | An ancient tale of 2 halves of a whole

Unrequited Love | An ancient tale of 2 halves of a whole

“According to Greek mythology,
humans were originally created with four arms,four legs and a head with two faces.
Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts,
condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.”

― Plato, The Symposium

Two halves of a whole

I started this article with this quote because I think it is the most beautiful ancient explanation of the amazing things love makes us do. So amazing that Zeus did not even imagine it to be likely, one would presume since it was his chosen solution. Why then is it that when we feel the rejection of that possible, yet unfortunately wrong, lid to our magic marker we feel so devastated?

For the remainder of this article I would like to take Plato’s words as truth and explore with you how this will spin a tale around ‘Unrequited Love‘.

I presume there are only a few lucky souls who have escaped the soul destroying experience of being rejected by that special someone. Lets take a step back and analyse the parts of this ‘not so magic carpet ride’.

  1. You love someone
  2. They don’t love you back
  3. You still love them

Now I am well aware that this is an overly simplistic view yet for this article it will suffice, after all I am not writing a book.

The first ingredient is the love you feel for another being.

You love someone

Right story books,  movies, poetry, music, and many other media will try to convince you THE way to fall in love is to see someone from across the railway station platform and instantly see your 4 perfectly beautiful children running before your eyes while he holds his coat around your shoulders whispering in your ear ‘I love you dearest wife of mine’.   Contrary to that, the statistics show that most people fall in love with someone that they have known for a while. People only report falling in love quickly about 1/3 to 40 percent of the time (or so says the internet). Of course, this varies from culture to culture. Falling in love happens differently between cultures but it does occur in most cultures.

The weirdest part in this is that in almost any relationship therapy book, love is described as a two way street where both partners work at a relationship. Don’t mistake it for Platonic love, unrequited love is a passionate desire to have this other person as your life partner, the other half of your whole. Socrates made a clear distinction, in Plato’s “Symposium”, where he explained the two types of love or Eros—Vulgar Eros or earthly love and Divine Eros or divine love.

I personally think unrequited love can never be this divine love that does not stems from desire. The way you love when not loved back is based on desire, a pull to a certain person, making it erotic love.

So to move on to the second part of this trilogy, the other person doesn’t love you back.

The other doesn’t love you back

In this journey I already concluded that the desiring love that is felt for another person. I would like to zeus-chasing-aegina-redintroduce the word infatuated here on purpose. I would also like to state this is tale is about love that was never answered, not a falling out of love scenario which hugely differs. This infatuation feels like love, hurts like love and convinces the afflicted it is love. When unanswered, the rejection felt is like being denied a privilege already earned. In the mind, the person loving has determined this is their other half, whether this was due to mixed signals or misinterpreted signals, or childhood innocence. There are a legion of reasons why someone gets infatuated with another being, these change over the course of a human life time. As a youngster popularity can be a big draw for infatuation, being ‘in love’ with the popular kid in class or a pop star. Later on in life, well meant friendly gestures can get misinterpreted for signs of affection, we can fall for looks, money and all the reasons that don’t speak to Plato’s 2 halves of a whole.

It has been documented that two important characteristics, kindness and intelligence, are extremely important in the process of falling in love. Attractiveness, physical or other,  is not connected to these things. These two attributes are things that people learn about someone from knowing them over time. Intelligence is important in all aspects of life, especially in love. But kindness is the strongest indicator for a successful long-term relationship.

You still love the other

Love is never more keenly felt than when it lacks what it loves, notably if it is unrequited. However, it also always has tremendous strengths to draw on, and so whether bravely, impetuously, intensely or intelligently it never ceases to seek what it loves, which it can only regard as beautiful and true. The lack of a relationship prevents the infatuated person from forming a realistic image of the other, creating an even more ideal creature that must be the one.

Unrequited love can only end when the person who loves, takes of the rosy glasses and see the other for who they are. And granted there might be cases where even then you can love someone, but it should open the eyes to see a relationship with someone who does not love you truly would be a disappointment rather than an achievement.

Conclusion

If one loves another, yet the subject of the affection has declared to have no love for the other, should this be called unrequited love or unrequited infatuation? From Plato’s point of view, which might surprise you, love or infatuation pretending to be love is so strong that it can have a hold of you. Break this hold if it is unhealthy, don’t read signs but let love be requited

“You see, love is energy.
The soul is a huge vast place,
and lots of it is dark,
and it’s full of energy and power,
and this can be bad,
but it can be good,
and that’s the work,
to change bad energy into good,
when we desire good things
and are attracted magnetically by them.”

One sided love is like a flower in the dark, never getting sunlight to grow and blossom. It will continue to use up all the nutrition out of the soil to never come to bloom. Love needs reciprocation to become a good energy. So pursue but know when to give up and most of all love for the right reasons.

If I were to write a book I would title it “The One Key Question: What Do You Love?” Get love right, and life will be as right as it can be too.

A Geeky Girls Guess

A Geeky Girls Guess

by Liz Bergmans | View Posts

The time has come to…

Push the button? In a way yes, push the buttons. I decided today that I am going to commit myself to a new life as web writer. What to expect from me? I hope to be a source of ‘aaah’s , ‘oooh’s, some ‘haha’ and lol’s too. A mix of things that I find worth telling the world about and stuff I just don’t ever want to forget.

Who is this I/me? My name is Liz and I am a woman working and living with IT. For a living I program Android and for fun I try to keep up with new and innovative stuff out there. Every once in a while the world around me compels me to Continue reading