I kinda hate Monopoly. It’s one of those games that really bugs me. It epitomises many of the aspects of life that I truly despise. The pecunious aspects of life that splinter us between haves and have not’s.
And yet… When I play, I so want to win. Does that make me a bad person? Ok, maybe not win. But when I play I want MORE!!!!!!
I must confess, I’ve not actually ever finished a game Monopoly. I do enjoy the going round the board and buying properties. But, when it gets to the whole trading and trying to bitch slap your opposition to scrape out the last vestiges of their cash… I lose interest.
I love my board games. I have a bit of the collection. Some of which I’ve never actually played. Don’t get me wrong, I seriously want to. But these days, being a gamer means something different (and people are less inclined to sit around a table with others, than they are to sit alone in a darkened room).
There is a big difference between holding a game pad and a bunch of dice. And saying that you are a dice chucker, suggests that you are a D&D player (and I should say I fucking hate D&D. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a geek. I have been a role player for many years. But not D&D. Seriously, NOT D&D. Oh yeah… Even geeks can have standards).
But anyway, Monopoly. I kinda hate it, but I really don’t want to. I’ve played several times. Many times with people, occasionally alone (in attempts to work out how to do it right). I’ve even got it on my Xbox.
But I always fucking lose.
Maybe I’m just playing wrong.
I know some people that only go for the high-end properties. In fact quite a few of the people that have played with tend to go for the high-end properties. And these people always tend to beat me. Maybe I should learn from their example.
But I always tend to go for being the slum landlord. I always buy out the bottom row and left hand side. You know the cheap properties.
Oh, maybe I should say at this point. That as there are so many versions of the game, that involve street names from so many places around the world, it’s kind of pointless to try and name the locations and expect people to know where on the board that I’m talking about. So as far as I’m concerned, ‘Go‘ is at the bottom right. The cheap streets are along the bottom, and you can work it out from there.
I tend to buy the cheap stuff. I try to buy pretty much all of the bottom and left side of the board.
In this is where game and reality separate, and really pisses me off. I now own half of London (or the city that you are playing on). And yet when other players land on my properties, I get 8 quid or maybe 14. I’m playing the slum landlord. So why the hell can’t I jack up prices to extortionate rates. Why do I have to build houses? And if I build hotels, why can I not fill them with the homeless and immigrants and get the government to pay stupidly high prices for them to live there. I’m playing a game about getting money… So why can’t I have more??!!!!
And this is where I feel that Monopoly and I tend to part ways.
Don’t get me wrong, I know it’s just a game. But there are so many games out there that are fun to play. This one just embodies and embraces so many of the aspects of society that really concern me. But it’s a classic. So we play it with our kids. And as such we are teaching our kids that owning stuff and having loads of money is not only fun, but it is the goal.
Yeah, in my experience… Not so much.
I used to have a career that paid pretty well. But it was fucking hard work. It was a delicate balance between following my bosses wishes and screwing over the customers, or following my own idiom of doing the job well and not totally fleecing the punters for it.
If you are a follower of the musings, then you probably already know that I got ill and got sacked because of it.
Being cast out of the corporate world that I found myself in, was quite possibly the best thing that ever happened to me. The reason for it, maybe not so much. How they did it… HELL no! But if that shit happens, and leads you to a much better place. Can you really bitch about the bad shit?
Monopoly just makes me think of the world that I used to live in. A world that I really did not want to be in. The world that involves screwing over your fellow man to better yourself. And this is a game. A game that we play with our kids. A game that teaches them how much fun it is to take other people’s money. And to revel in your gain and their loss.
It is one of the world’s most popular board games. What does this say about the world we live in?
Pick something better!