Everything is awry as usual – I think I disappointed myself

Everything is awry as usual – I think I disappointed myself

It has been a while since I did the last post, moving along quickly. I have been a lazy bastard not forcing in the 25th hour in my busy schedule to make up some in-depth cock’n bull about my feelings and/or my observations upon life itself in its many turns and twists… oh god somebody please stop this sente…

Tonight I will bring back some recent memories about my vacation to London and the great ups and downs of this magnificent trip, because it was in itself a great experience, but I didn’t like London.

Well that was rather harsh to say, since the metropolis itself was grand and had many unique experiences for me. Yet I was continuously growing more and more disappointed at the landmarks and tourist attractions around the overwhelming city. Somehow I had seen Big Ben and the Tower Bridge and The large church and the Buckkers Bunker or Buckingham Palace just to make sure that everyone understands my predicament, in so many variations, sizes and colours. Buckingham Palace is TOO square! Something about the construction is off and I came to the conclusion that it was far to Square to be proper baroque.

We were around the gargantuan capital for an entire week, we took the DLC from Greenwich where we lived to Bank or the jubilee line or the central line etc. to wherever we wanted to go. We chose to walk around the city and use the underground to get near the things we wanted to see. The funny thing was that it was actually the railway system that excited me the most. The coordination and the fluent integration into the daily lives of so many people was the thing that excited me the most. The Thames and the eye was nice to ride, but something about 3 hours in line to look at something you have seen on Google maps just didn’t cut it and for that my vacation turned into a strange experience.

I can’t say that I became bewitched by the British lifestyle… oh god… there was no full wheat bread… you maniacs. Black bread daily or I’ll die. None the less I have dabbed a lot in the culture and news of the British over the last couple of years, especially comedy and series have caught my attention and to become a small part of that new culture… well it didn’t differ that much from my own, but seeing the places, common places that I could mentally relate too was exciting in itself.

The daily life in Greenwich or Green’ich as everyone pronounced it was funny to watch. The life in the outer corners of London where industry never closed down completely or shops never shut over the summer because the owner wanted to go back to Timbachtoo or whatever was quaint and pleasant for me. For our amusement the inner London was teaming with tourists, or half of China had immigrated whichever is the real reason… We watched people gawk at the large blue chicken or tackle a wax statue at the museum. For me that was like a long trip in a zoo. I know it is not nice to say to anyone, but acting local and watch how the tourists from all around the world treated the attractions while watching the real “Londoneers” gallop ten feet behind them to make sure they didn’t break anything was amusing… I was amused.

It was equally annoying and funny to watch the Waitrose personal run after us acting casual when my parents talked Danish to us in the supermarket. Beyond paranoid they kept guards or other personal close to us every time we came to that place and we came at least once a day. We never acted up or talked loud or acted rude, but the language barrier was enough to make them uneasy… or maybe it was my wild beard that drove them off their rockers? Who knows… who cares?

The trip itself was a small breakthrough for me if we should jump around it a little more. The beginning which in this small anecdote is closer to the end was a first time flying for me. I have never been in an airplane and had no idea about the feeling when you took off, landed or hit air holes which we called them. I had not been in an airport before and was pleasantly surprised about the entire ordeal. We had paid a little extra for the trip to make sure that the first time was a good ride and not to bore you with boring details, it was a nice experience that I look forward to do again under similar circumstances. Again here I was thrilled at the coordination and professionalism in both countries. From getting to the airport and through it, into the plane where every trip was well executed was a joy that my little perfectly squared heart could hardly contain.

Finding the underground and learning to use it in London took us no time. We had studied a little before we took off and it pretty much worked as intended. This is where the core aspect of it all comes into play.

It worked! Our planning and our timing worked! It felt like work for me. I would take part in planning our trips the next day and making it work with trains, timing and hitting the shops and attractions at the right time to get there without being drowned by other tourists felt like work… and it was satisfying. We came to experience London as we imagined it. We didn’t want it staged or walk around with an orchestra depicting the right tune for the current mood the location set. We wanted a little of the tourism and mostly a taste of the real life in a foreign place we so often saw on TV or the internet.

British people would if they haven’t already scoffed at this and I can only wish they turned it around and thought about it as Hong Kong for them. It is foreign, it has a different language although I can’t sound too smuck if I stated that I controlled it. Dialects are the devils work… just adding that in! Yet think of your daily place as something new and… exciting… well… different for someone who only seen it on the tellie! I grew up with Monty Python as a kid and they created an ambivalent Britain, yet a desirable Britain for someone outside the Islands.

It was a kid’s dream to experience that place, but not the landmarks. It was the daily clockwork that oiled my gears. I like London although it is paranoid. Greenwich has a larger university culture than London and different people are more tolerated there than in central London. Is that because you are tired of the tourists or is it immigrants? I have seen enough news to know that we are far from the only country with issues although Mock the Week can put it in a more ‘bright blue’ perspective… on that note… Frankie Boyle leaving Mock the Week was the worst thing they could have done. I like the show although I do take the news there with a grain of salt, but hearing him molest every other sentence was like a birthday treat for me… damn I miss people who could be funny, rude and obnoxious without crossing the fine red line.

So thumbs up London. You are better as you are, rather than trying to be what tourists want you to be.